Online Dating Rant #46

This is an impromptu post but as I take another hiatus from online dating, I feel the need to rant for a moment. I need someone who is an expert in the field to explain the following online dating phenomenon to me.

  1. Why do 85% of men on dating sites have the following pictures in their profile?

    • Bathroom mirror selfie-  One guy included one from what a appeared to be a restaurant bathroom. I’m wondering why he felt the need to take a selfie in a public restroom, even if it did appear upscale. Is this to prove he has money and will take some lucky lady out for a nice meal?
    • Driver seat of the car selfie- We can’t tell if you’re driving a Kia or a BMW from this pic, so why? Usually, these guys are wearing seatbelts so maybe it’s to demonstrate their concern for safety? IDK…
    • The photo with another woman who is showing a lot of cleavage- Some guys will write in the caption that this is their sister or cousin, but as close as I am to my brother I don’t sidle up to him with my boobs hanging out of my shirt for a siblings photo. When there is not caption explaining who the Dolly Parton wannabe is, that leaves the inevitable question of why the ex-girlfriend or wife is in a picture on your dating profile.

2. Why will eHarmony only give you matches a minimum of 50 miles away from where you live?

A couple of my girlfriends mentioned to me that they tended to find great people on eHarmony. I thought ‘what the hay? I’ll try it!’. When you’re creating your preferences if you try to select anything less than a 50 mile radius from where you live, you get a dozen shaming messages from eHarmony telling you that if you know what’s good for you, you will commute to find true love and that there is no one living in your own home town that would even consider dating you, so buy a fuel efficient car and get ready for a session listening to podcasts as you commute to meet your date half way.

When I did find people in my home town or close by, when I clicked on their profile I would get ‘This person is outside of the 100 mile radius that we set for you and will not let you edit because gosh-dang-it, you need to spend more money on gas’.

I’m not sure what guys my friends were meeting or how far they were driving but several other girlfriends have had the same experience and also thought it odd that eHarmony does not want you dating in your own neighborhood.

Maybe eHarmony is a subsidy of ReMax or Long and Foster and is trying to promote people to move to certain towns to boost real estate? Am I thinking too hard about this?

3. Why do all the decent looking, employed guys that are within 3 years of my age all live in other states?

This is an extension of my eHarmony rant. I live near two major cities. You can’t tell me that there are no decent, single men inside my state lines. Unless that is exactly what I am being told, in which case, there is no hope for women anywhere.

4. When you join a site specifically targeted towards single parents why do all of the men who are within 3 years of my age fit the following profile?

Education: High school

Income: $30,000- 50,000 (this is not written to offend anyone, but in the part of the country I live in this is very low- it means you probably don’t have steady work for at least 6 months out of the year)

Children: Multiple from a minimum of two baby-mamas

Status: Separated- the woman the guy is separated from is neither of the 2 + baby-mamas

Career Goals: To find a smart, beautiful, hard-working woman to supplement my $30K/year salary

# of Tattoos: 7 or more, at least two are the names of my children, ya know, just in case I forget…

Home Life: Temporarily living with my parents for the last 5 years. I’ll be moving out as soon as I find that special high-earning lady.

5. Why Does J-Date require users to be Jewish?

Actually, it doesn’t. I started an account just for kicks. I received a handful of messages that I couldn’t bring myself to look at in case they read “Go home shicksa! This site isn’t for you.” I also felt like a fraud. I’m didn’t want to deceive anyone, I was just curious about this whole online dating thing. The funny thing is that I have Jewish lineage, so I identified myself as a non-practicing Jew who was raised in the Christian faith. Yes, I know, probably not one of my finer moments. I just feel left out that I don’t get a crack at all the great Jewish doctors out there. I haven’t been able to bring myself to opening an account on “Black People Meet”. Oddly enough I also do not have a “Christian Mingle” account.

I’m tired now and have decided to focus on my next book for the foreseeable future, so no more dating for me for a while.

Herein ends “Online Dating Rant #46”. You know where to find me if you have your own rants.


  • Single Mom Unfiltered
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